I think we're talking past each other to a certain extent. We are essentially saying the same thing I believe. We train to gain control...so do you. We may have slightly different ideas about what control is, and how it is gained. But it is that control that gives the ability to have mercy. So when we train at the edge of uke's level to take the control, we are practising NOT going to far each time we do a technique. Just because we move the line to a different place, doesn't mean that we aren't training to not cause unnecessary harm.