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Ian Hurst (happysod) wrote:
perhaps a deliberate attempt at being contentious?
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Perhaps a little too quick to go on the defensive? It's true that I enjoy being contrary (and come across as being blunt or provocative) sometimes, but I don't do so just to piss people off - I simply see it as a good way to encourage looking at a given problem from as many different viewpoints as possible, and broaden everyone's perspective on the issue at hand, which is always a good thing. And I think it was a valid remark, even if it was not meant to be taken 100% seriously (notice the smiley). More like 90%. II'll elaborate:
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Ian Hurst (happysod) wrote:
While I agree that aikido may be able to aid you in certain areas of character development, I don't see it as a very sharp tool for dealing with severe emotional problems.
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I do not automatically equate "temper/other inappropriate emotions" with "severe emotional problems". The first can be a specific, temporary mode of acting/thinking, while the second, by definition, is a wider term that describes deeper and more lasting problems. What caused this sudden switch from one to the other? IMO, it is perfectly possible for someone to momentarily lose his/her temper and do something stupid or dangerous, without being an insensitive bully or a psychological time-bomb.
Unbalanced people indeed have no place in a dojo - they have other, more important things to deal with first. But we all have a bad day sometimes, we all lose our temper and do bad things sometimes - that doesn't take "severe emotional problems". And aikido, as a physical and mental discipline, is one way to improve your character and avoid being a source of bad feelings.
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Ian Hurst (happysod) wrote:
I, especially after the reasonable amount of time I've spent in aikido, found myself out of control, I'd prefer to show respect to others in the dojo by removing myself as a potential hazard than relying on them to adjust. I find aikido is actually a martial art, not a substitute for group therapy. "chickening out", as you so politely phrased it, would be expecting other dojo members to carry my emotional travails at risk of injury to themselves. I would prefer to take responsibility for my own actions.
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I assume that you meant "not chickening out", otherwise you'd be contradicting yourself.
I totally respect your decision to leave - I'd probably have the same reflex if I hurt someone for the (initial) reason you mentioned. But, on second thought:
1. Wouldn't my sensei and fellow students (even the one I hurt) also have an obligation - if not to me, then at least to themselves and the ideals they try to stand for - to take some responsibility and turn this into a win-win situation? What would be best - telling me I ought to make amends and keep training, or simply kick me out and be done with it? If I'm an honest guy who temporarily "lost it", my feelings of guilt will be punishment enough for me, and I will try all the more to avoid a repetition, and overcome this problem. If not, then I obviously don't belong in a dojo and it was a mistake to let me in - which means the most serious error was already made long before, and not by me.
2. I'd assume that my fellow dojo members can be perfectly capable of actively helping to make sure that I will not repeat my mistake - they are not lifeless dummies, after all. Those that don't trust me anymore can always politely decline to train with me, and they can of course still decide to kick me out anyway. And I am still free to leave the dojo - nobody will block the exit if I decide to go, But would that make anyone feel better? Would that be "taking responsibility for your own actions"? It may seem so at a glance, but it isn't. Not really. And IMHO, it's not what aikido is (or: should be) about.
Any thoughts or comments are, of course, welcome.
best,
Tom
(edited: lots of bad grammar)