Thank you for your replies..
I've talked to my instructor , yes. He is going to speak to the person in question . I too will speak to him the next time I get onto the mat. This time I'm going to make sure that he understands that I do not have the ukemi, nor the technical skills to move as fast as he can, so if he wants to work with me he will have to slow down. I do understand that Aikido is a physical art, however I don't feel that full force is needed in the situation we are working in. The results are unpredictable and have all the ingredients to be physically and mentally disastrous.
Rest is good… I do intend to rest, but doing will not clear up my physical issue's. The only thing I can do is to continue training and work through the pain in my joints. Had my training partner had any idea of how irritated my shoulder was, he probably would not have pinned my arm back so hard.
Such is the price of knowledge and experience. I'm trying to up my outlook for next class. I cannot avoid this particular partner-- as it is , to me atleast, immature on my part. I have to set aside my fear and try to build my trust back up. I can never truly do this if I avoid every person who has ever hurt me, scared me, etc.
Every technique we switch partners, so that we do not get used to one person's way of doing things. I favor this system-- as it keeps me fresh and tests my technical skills ( especially in dealing with those who, to the shock of many, are even more inexperienced as I!) I think that this should be a learning experience for both the person in question and me. This is a chance for him to learn to tailor his skills to working with those less experienced then him , and a chance for me to work with someone who has as much to learn as I do.
As I said in my initial introduction, way back when, I am stepping away from a life that was heavily influenced by fear. I do not see the entire mat as being something to fear, merely training with certain people. Some people I do not trust because I have not worked with them enough, so people have hurt unintentionally. This rekindles fear. I sacrificed a large part of my need to control, by stepping into an art that so contact oriented, so it would seem ridiculous to let the very thing I'm getting away from draw me back in. There is something to be learned from everything.
And last, but not least…
I too am a musician ( Clarinet rules ; ) .I face Aikido much like my orchestra and symphonic work-- as being something to respect and patiently work with.
The feeling of anger is as you described it, but more. As a student more senior to me, it was all but obvious to Nage that I had a lot to learn. Still he pushed past. Maybe I look tough or something… (yeah right lol) I'm willing to give it another chance. My trust will have to be earned back, but I think that by facing this problem openly and directly, we'll both be the better for it.
Last edited by KaitlinCostello : 02-28-2003 at 01:34 PM.