Baically, your milage may vary. Your shite (nage) should moderate to accomodate you, especially if you're a beginner. I'm all for rough practise myself, but that is a personal thing, and should not be imposed on beginners. And male / female bullying is a definate no no, IMHO.
If you had been training longer, I'd make noises about connecting as uke, never getting "behind" the technique since you know what's comming, etc. But frankly, I think its still too early for all that. Stick with partners who don't break you.