H.E.A.D.T.R.I.P.
I am going to highjack this thread under the same pretenses that it was created.
I am sorry to see that Bruce Baker has decided to join the ranks of the lurkers, as it will no doubt raise his blood pressure and result in his untimely demise. After all, the only person able to overcome the indestructable Bruce Baker will be himself. I say this only in the spirit of truth and respect, and before his tragic end, I would like to impart on him the first and only Degree of its kind. This is not to be taken lightly, as it embues Bruce with the online equivalent of a being an 11th Dan, a 33rd degree Mason, a six star general, and/or a grand Poobah. I am of course talking about the Honorary Exemplary Advanced Doctorate for Transcendent Rambunctious Internet Personae, or H.E.A.D.T.R.I.P. for short.
It has taken him quite some time to achieve this honor, though he had all the qualifications at first post. This includes, but is not limited to, highjacking threads with no intelligible arguments, being the first person added to over 100 ignore lists, sending threatening emails or pm's to those unlucky dissenters who inspired his wrath, being old enough to remember the Creation (he's seen it all folks), his affliction from a disease he constantly uses to earn our pity while stumping the medical staff who frequent our little forum site, numerous flame wars with all the aforementioned, and so on and so forth, etc.
Speaking from my limited experience, I have seen his masterful work, why in this very post, where he sets an ambush by asking a seemingly interesting and/or controversial question, waits for his quarry to actually answer in a contrite manner, and then pounces in that non-linear, bombastic, "I-figured-it-out-why-can't-you" attitude. His exploits are infamous and should be preserved for all eternity, broaching such subjects as world religion, history, human medicine, philosophy and last but definitely not least, interpersonal conflict. With his passing, we lose a great voice in this internet wasteland, where the strong survive and rest tremble in obeisance.
It should be understood that the granting of this title can only take place on the internet, as it is above the practice of printing and mailing it to its recipient. Paper is just not worthy enough to contain its majesty; the same cannot be said about the energy lattice known as the internet, where porn and Microsoft can coexist peacefully together. This HEADTRIP is for you Bruce, may you always be right and above-it-all, may you always have an excuse for trouncing the feelings and thoughts of others, and when all that fails, may you always kick the asses of those dissenters who incur your wrath. I am, and always will be, afraid of you.
Jim Vance
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