I too have found myself muscleing through techniques. So I tried this
and it seemed to help:
On katate dori techiniques, instead of uke grabbing your wrist have
him grab your index finger. By doing this you can really "feel" the technique. Uke can also tell you if you are trying muscle through this if you start squeezing his hand with your finger. Becareful when doing this don't
want to break your finger. Start off having uke to hold your finger tight but
giving little resistance through the technique. Build your way up to more
resistance as you become more comfortable wihth it.