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Old 12-21-2002, 01:57 AM   #1
shihonage
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 890
United_States
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Unofficial Aikido forum FAQ (rated R for immature)

Okay, I'm fed up with same things being asked over and over, therefore I'm providing this FAQ.

If you've just joined the forums, please read this first before posting a thread !

------- AIKIWEB FORUMS UNOFFICIAL FAQ --

Q: I'm extremely overweight, and I wonder if I can practice Aikido.
A: Yes.

Q: I'm extremely overweight, and I wonder if I can practice Aikido and have my dinner at the same time.
A: Get lost.

Q: Is Aikido effective in a real fight ?
A: Depends on what you mean by "Aikido", "effective", "fight", "real" and "?".

Q: If someone grabs me like that, or punches me like this, what should I do ?
A: Use your heels to stomp their feet, then grab the gun from your purse and shoot yourself.

Q: Hello, I am wondering if Aikido is the art for me.
A: No.

Q: Can I avoid practicing with women ? I am a peaceful citizen of Islam and I do not like women in any form.
A: You're a fag. Homosexuals are prohibited from studying Aikido.

Q: Aikido is too violent, I am a pacifist who likes pretty flowers and I can defeat any enemy by smiling at them gently.
A: You're a fag. Homosexuals are prohibited from studying Aikido.

Q: Hello, I'm being abused by this guy in the dojo, and he makes me cry.
A: You're a fag. Homosexuals are prohibited from studying Aikido.

Q: Hello, I'd like to talk about spiritual side of Aikido's enlightement. It is said that Aikido is a lifelong pursuit and I enjoy grinding the mirror and polishing the stone.
A: I bet you enjoy choking the bishop too. Get away from that mirror and put your pants back on.

Q: I'd like to detach from my ego.
A: You can start by detaching from your computer.

Q: I am a girl and my boobs keep falling out of my uniform.
A: Practice Aikido in zero gravity environment.

Q: What kind of FAQ is THIS ?! I'm offended to the very depths of my soul ! You shall burn in ninth circle of HELL !
A: No I won't.

Q: Yes you will !
A: No I won't.

Q: Yes you will !
A: No I won't times a thousand.

Q: Yes you will times infinite squared !!
A: Damn.

Last edited by shihonage : 12-21-2002 at 02:12 AM.
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