I am looking for some advice / ideas on how to deal with people trying to "kill" me.

What you should know:

I hate violence, and I am scared of hurting other people. Usually I tend to be very careful during practice.

Now, I also do another sport which makes me stronger in my upper body than an average girl, and I have a stressul job. All this means that I tend to be both "too strong" and quite tense. I am working on it, but this does not change overnight - it's not like someone says "relax" and you are like "OK fine now I suddenly know what to do!"

I have a lot of trouble with ukemi. I have made a huge progress, really, learned a lot. But - whenever we do something I do not know very well (or do not know at all), my ukemi is funny and a bit tense and a bit "heavy", I am not as responsive as I should be, not " light on my feet" or whatever you call it. Again, I am aware & working on this, but I cannot change this by magic in 2 min.

The problem:

Some people mistake my lack of knowledge / skill for basically being an a-hole, an overly resistive person who interferes with their practice. And they respond violently, in a way which really hurts, with a lot of force, almost like "you not gonna fall? I show you!"

Two examples: i. Someone threw me flat on my back (no chance for me to roll or anything as I didn't see / feel it coming). This caused me a lot of panic because I could't breathe at first. ii. Someone nearly broke my wrist because I didn't go where I was supposed to (not knowing the waza & not feeling enough lead from the person).

I need to stop this thing asap, before I get really hurt. Any thoughts, ideas, insights? Thanks in advance.

(Changing a dojo is not an option for me right now, stopping aikido neither.)