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Old 07-04-2014, 11:10 PM   #141
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,316
Re: Introduction + The missing Atemi

Hugh Beyer wrote: View Post
The thing you need to understand, as a less experienced student, is that when you act this way as uke people will think you are being a jerk. That's because there are a non-trivial number of people who let their ego get away with them and behave like this intentionally. So if you keep it up, you will get a reputation for being a jerk. Your choice whether you want that or not.
To elaborate a little, what tends to happen is that people try practicing with you a couple of times, decide that you're not any fun to train with, and start avoiding you.

The more senior people might dump you on the floor a few times and try to explain how what you are doing is inappropriate for what's being taught, but they might not. They're human too. They've seen many many students come through the door, train for a while, and vanish without a trace. Life is too short to get overly invested in any single beginner. Especially one who seems to be halfway out the door already because he isn't finding what he's looking for.

We don't ask people to kneel by the gate in the rain any more, and that's probably a good thing. But it will always be true that you get out of the art what you put into it. If you are perceived -- accurately or not -- as not approaching aikido practice with an open mind, then people probably won't expend much effort to try to help you.

Now, whether the level of challenge you present will be perceived in this way *will* depend on the skill level of the person and the dojo culture. There are some dojos where I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be happy for much the same reasons that you describe, and some where I fit right in. But it doesn't really matter, because they're not going to change. You can accommodate yourself to the way they train, or you can find a different dojo.

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