Re: How do you deal with.....
I kinda think that you are a bit of a gentleman. AND I commend you for not using your strength to retaliate, hit her back, or otherwise enforce your boundaries. I commend you for staying committed to finding a reasonable solution to an out of control situation. Clearly, she has been allowed to disrespect people and behave badly for some time.
If your sensei gave you the out option, or rather suggested that one of you leave, it would be me. You should not have to be harassed and pay money for it. It's Aikido, not MMA. Yes, it's a martial art. But like many martial arts, training with another person is an agreement. Things get unpredictable, risky and dangerous when one breaks the agreement.
I agree with Janet - going to her husband was not quite a good thing. But, I'm sure by now that you've realized that. Lesson learned.
Seems like she is a bully at best and that lead sensei needs to get her in line, or SHE should be told to leave.
Good luck to you and I hope you stay and she leaves, with her equally idiotic husband who questioned your manhood.