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Old 02-16-2014, 10:54 PM   #52
Krystal Locke
Location: Phoenix, Oregon
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 407
Re: How do you deal with.....

Anonymous User wrote: View Post
My sensei's have offered a solution to the verbal stuff, not the actual physical striking which could easily be assault on the outside if you think about it. I have yet to mention the physical stuff as i was at one of our other dojo's for fridays lesson and i have to wait till monday to do that.

At least read the thread in its entirety if you are going to comment please. You are quoting a solution that was given prior to fridays event and is no longer applicable as we are on another level now that physical striking has been introduced. I appreciate you trying to help but the game has changed since you read the solution you think i need to follow.

Mary, lets just say that you got something wrong on the mat and I start slapping you. Every time you get something wrong i am gonna say you suck, you should give this crap up as you are friggen worthless.

This will get on your nerves and you will do something about it. There is no question about it. You are human and will defend yourself one day even if that day is twenty years, or even fifty years, from now. No human has that much control over themselves. You will crack eventually no matter how strong you think you are. You are no saint. You are not jesus, buddha or some other deity. Be realistic.

Now, why should you put up with all those years of me doing that to you?

If this continues the dojo is also opening themselves up to legal repercussions if this women is not dealt with as it is pretty close to harassment as it is. It is persistent even if she does not know what she is doing. The fact that she has been allowed to get away with it for so long is worrying. And she does not seem to want to back down when confronted about her behavior.

Yeah, i have a choice to continue going there or not but at this point it will solely rely on whether i am made to train with these two or not. Nobody can force me to "work" with anybody and if so then i will take my choice to walk and go someplace else.

Concessions are made for muslims who refuse to bow to the shomen so why none me? We are non-profit by the way so its not that simple.

I no longer trust those two to treat me in a safe manner on the mat. It's that simple. Nobody else is going to watch out for my welfare while on the mat. It's up for me. It's my job to prevent injury to myself and not yours.

I think this thread has gone as far as it can here so thanks to you all.
Y'all gotta forgive my rant mode.....

Dude. Really. If you are going to take a martial art, you are going to get hit once in a while. While I agree that smacking your hand is a shitty way to communicate the fact that you're doing something wrong, the common, traditional, and very effective feedback loop in a martial art is a bit more uncomfortable than that.....

Your sempai do watch out for your welfare on the mat. That's what sempai do. Aikido is a martial art. It is for learning how to defend yourself from folks who intend to do far worse than hurt your feelings or make you a little uncomfortable. Effective training has got to go there. If you are at all in it for any defense or fighting skill, this is exactly what you will be coming up against over and over and over or you're doing it wrong. You will be coming up against yourself in reaction to other people. This is how martial arts changes your ego. This is polishing the mirror and sharpening the sword. Your bad sempai is actually a bad sempai and is actually the best training partner you've got. She pisses you off because you are pissing yourself off with her. If you get through this heck with her, you are really just getting through the outer candy shell of the hell you're giving yourself. This is what the folks who have been telling you that you're too sensitive have been saying.

Aikido IS about finding the center. Your center. Her center. The center of balance between you and her. The center of balance between you and her and her husband and your sempai and your sensei. The center between you and the entire universe Aikido IS meditation. It IS a good path to inner peace. All that woowoo bullshit means that in order to regain your center, you have to be continually knocked off your center. Emotionally, psychologically, physically, financially, logistically, thermodynamically, every single way you can be disturbed, aikido training HAS TO disturb you. Aikido training is kicking your ass and you are letting it. She is winning. Aikido is winning. Natural selection is winning. At your expense. What are you going to do about it?

Is it freaking easy to go hide and pretend that sitting politely unwashed in a cave is meditation. The pseudomystics and aikibunnies love that shit. They get to class early so that they can smile and ommmm at each other in peace and seiza in a perfect line for an hour before the aikido starts so that they can meditate before all that martialness running around making a mess starts. That is easy. Anyone can get all evolved and spiritual and crap when its quiet. They miss the biggest point, they miss why their training is ineffective. They miss that they are looking at it wrong. That sort of inner peace is fragile, brittle, precious, because it is easy. It is easy to be calm when the world around you is calm.

It is hard to be calm when the environment is noisy. It is really unbelievably hard to be aware, calm, rational, relaxed, perceptive, and everything else the accomplished martial artist/meditator is supposed to be when there's noise and lights and anger and pain and blood, and real, present danger. Too late to meditate. So, do it IN class. Practice meditation, practice self control when it is hard to be self-controlled, while you're getting all sweaty and the ukemi makes you want to puke and somebody is doing something you dont like to you. If you cant find your happy place in class with an uke you have a problem with, you will never find the psychological place that you can think from and use for your survival when your uke is actually trying to kill you.

If it is just the physical fitness you want, walk your dog. It'll work way better than aikido will. The fat old nidan is evidence of that noise. You want a deep connection with other people? Spend time with your family. If you want exercise with happy controlled physical contact with other people, ballroom dancing is great, lots of aikido folk even do that. If you want to learn how to defeat other people, get a gun and take lessons at the range. If you want to learn how to defeat yourself so that other people cannot defeat you, go to your aikido class, bow in, turn to your bad sempai, smile, and grab her wrist. She is ALWAYS going to be on the mat with you as long as you do aikido (or anything else) because YOU are always going to be on the mat with you....

You say that you now speak Japanese after a couple months of aikido. Great. Damatte keiko. Che....
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