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Old 02-07-2014, 05:07 PM   #15
IP Hash: 5c042178
Anonymous User
Re: How do you deal with.....

I asked this person tonight if i hurt them on Wednesday's class and was that the reason they cussed. They said no. I pressed further and asked if it was my inability to "get it" that they swore and they said yes.

I did suspect that it was directed towards me and my instinct was correct.

I accidentally posted this response while logged in and some of you may know my persona. I am fine with this however i would like for this to remain "nameless". Mods deleted the named response, i think.I am so used to logging in first and am not really concerned, too much, about giving my name away anymore. There is a chance the person in question reads this but not likely as english is not their main language. Nonetheless i want this to remain anonymous.

I think Janet's response is the most sound. Just be an example for somebody that swears on the mat and treats people like that. I do not think it is my job to change their behavior even though she wants to change mine rather vigorously.

On the mat i treat people like i want to be treated. I was welcomed with real warmth and that was a wonderful feeling for somebody who lacks confidence and is shy. On the mat aikido has had the ability to help me change myself into a person i want to be. On the mat i get a kick out of all the customs and showing each other respect by bowing. I dont overdo it but i do enjoy it.

For some of you aikido is just some "thing" you do a couple of times a week to stay fit. For some it is for self defense. For some it is a means of getting to socialize with people. For some it is all of the above.

Aikido has helped me in so many ways i would have trouble listing them as the list is getting long. I am no longer as impulsive as i was. My confidence is growing. When you have been in the pit of despair and want to end your life because you think that is the only way out having something to live for is the light that was kept away for so long.

James Sawers wrote: View Post
Sorry, but am I the only one here that sees a person taking up a martial art, but is concerned about his hurt feelings, as odd.....????
You can beat me senseless. You can make me bleed but the wounds will heal. You can give me bruises but they will go away, eventually.

Hurt me emotionally and that bruise will stay a long time unless dealt with. Yes, i care about my feelings and you should too.

We all are taking aikido for our own reasons and i have mine. I was in a very dark deep place for most of my life due to the way i was brought up and the way i was treated as a kid so when i see frustration, anger, or whatever you want to call it come my way simply because i do not live up to their expectations it hurts.

I am not there to live up to your expectations of me. I will learn at my own pace but not having the confidence to deal with people on that level can be painful hence i came here to ask for help. I was not always able to ask for help. Aikido is helping me build myself up again. I have seen, and felt, some terrible stuff when i grew up. Stuff that i wish nobody would ever go through. I have a very hard time trusting people but now we are getting into some weird realm that probably should not be aired here as i am dealing with this somewhere else

Aikido has changed my life, if not saved it, and i am thankful for it. I know it sounds incredible but it is.

Thank you for your time
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