Thank goodness I am not alone and take your advice with the kindest of regards, but when performing Tai no henko, nage is frozen to the spot with a hard grip, unless I ease off...and that annoys Dan grades...we won't even talk about morote tori, that's a whole new story. But I do know this Iwama first and second generation students I also train with welcome good strong hard grips.
With all due respect your ego is in the wrong place.
Since I've only studied for 25 years (with many more years in other Martial disciplines) I have found that those who think good Ukemi is personified by a good hard grip do not really understand the purpose of the grip, since there is no grabbing in Aikido with the exception of training
nage with the technique. But then again if you don't mind getting hit (Atemi) grab away.
Back in the day when I acted like you I found myself gasping for air on the mat one day when a Senior Yudansha kindly reminded be the purpose of grabbing in practice with a quick lighting tap to the solar plexus.
Now when you learn to have "sticky hands" and exhibit power while remaining completely relaxed, and soft...then we will have something to talk about.