As for doing it in a dojo, ive already suggested she come to mine, and she said no. OKAY?
I don't think that's what Brian was suggesting. He suggested simply telling your sensei that you'd like to test your aikido, and listen to the solutions that he/she proposes. I believe the idea is that your sensei may be able to provide you with something that will give you feedback on your skill without the risks of getting into a throw-down.
I know you feel very put-upon right now, but people really are trying to tell you (with the best of intentions) why challenging someone to a fight on the internet can lead to very real problems, despite anyone's opinion about whether it's OK or whether you SHOULD be able to do it. There are people in your country and mine who think you should be able to punch the lights out of someone who looks at you sideways, and while they are free to have that opinion, they are not free of the consequences of that action. People are trying to help you.
Here's a link to something very intelligent on the subject that was written...wow. Was it really over 20 years ago? Anyway, written by a friend of mine, waaaay back when. It's called "High price of living at home" by Jeff Pipkins
. Recommended reading for everyone who's struggling with this subject.