Re: The uke/nage paradigm
It is an university dojo, so full of students my age, in our early 20. I think some, but not most, Aikidoka come to Aikido as a means to explore themselves or as a resolution to their problems. It is the age when people are still confused about what they want and are trying to prove themselves, so yeah you can say a lot of them has an "identity crisis". It is understandable if someone draws their validation from their aikido competence to become absorbed in it and thus becoming sensitive or over-protective of their own Aikido.
Not everyone is like that though. We are very numerous, a good 50 people and I do learn a lot from some of them. My Sensei is the best I have seen (I ever had three). A few rotten apples are bothersome but should not denounce the entire tree.
I would be careful when judging the entire dojo or the teacher based simply on the students.