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Old 10-25-2013, 12:42 PM   #10
Mario Tobias
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 261
Re: My forum pet peeve: "I never got in a fight - the ultimate self-defense!"

Jon Reading wrote: View Post
So for me:

Although, verbal conflict resolution is a recognized tactic of many modern self-defense programs that are legitimate. Its another tool with which you can resolve a conflict. Strategy games like chess and go were once classified as martial arts, too. Don't overlook strategic training just because its not physical.
I agree with this. Not fighting doesn't mean you will avoid a fight. You do not avoid a fight, it's just that the aggressor has lost the will to fight that it's the aggressor that avoids the fight.

Being a silent person, I was bullied by a manager. Well he thought he could bully me. Several of my other colleagues were not so lucky.

It was one of the most difficult things one could experience imho. Psychological fights are more difficult than physical. I'd like a physical fight more actually after this ordeal. It stopped after a few months and I can only attribute it to applying aikido "principles" and didn't even realize it after he stopped. I've been practicing aikido for 23 years.
Did I try to avoid the fight, no. I fought and was ready to give up everything and fight him with everything I've got just to give him a taste of his own medicine. I thought if I go down, he will go down with me,

Treat the bully as uke.
Do not attack him head on but step out of the way and lead him (as well as HR)
Apply psychological atemi ( this also applies to "physical" aikido) to distract uke, to lessen his will in continuing his aggression
When in the presence of bully, think that you are in strong kamae and transmit this to him that you are not a pushover
Use his aggression against him
Don't think of winning or losing.
Do not harm your opponent when you "throw"(eg give evidence against him), although I was ready to smash his teeth in. (this is because of HR reasons)
Lead his mind
Timing is very critical
Relax and transmit this to HR and bully

Even with the practice of aikido, one's progression does move from the physical principles to its psychological counterpart.

I guess the bottomline is that you do not avoid the fight, you are ready to fight you just "transmit" something to the aggressor that he loses interest in continuing his aggression because if he continues the fight he will lose. Well, that's just my understanding of what's ultimate. A kind of psychological atemi that even a lot of shihans teach.

Last edited by Mario Tobias : 10-25-2013 at 12:57 PM.
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