Re: Dead end?
one comment: I think that you're looking for a more physical practice, which is not necessarily better aikido. big athletic ukemi is definitely NOT more martial. however , enjoying being pushed physically is fine too.
I once complained about that kind of practice and a couple of guys told me "oh, why don't you run 5 miles and then lift weights like we do, and then come to the dojo to learn aikido" I shut up at that
now it's 35 years later!