Thread: exiting a dojo
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Old 10-20-2013, 09:11 PM   #2
Stephen Nichol
Dojo: Aikilife, Canberra
Location: Canberra, ACT
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 90
Re: exiting a dojo

Anonymous User wrote: View Post
I don't believe the man every really liked me, but i ignored him for the most part, because i liked the people i trained with. without going into too many more gory details, i am wondering if i should tell him what's on my mind, or keep it moving.

I should add that the teacher is well respected in this particular circle. some have noted what i have, very quietly. a public display is not something i am going to do. but i'm seriously thinking about giving him a piece of my mind.

what do you think? No insults please.
Keep it moving.

Letting go of your feelings with your teacher and the situation, while not being easy, will free you. If you can take that deep breath and let go of it, you may find yourself not actually caring that much.

Your skill defines you as a martial artist, not your rank. To be more to the point, would a rank from this teacher truly matter to you?

Your choice to leave speaks for itself. It does not matter if your teacher directly or indirectly pushed you to this point (passive aggressive behavior etc) but the point is... here you are. Where do you want to go next?

I understand that you do not wish to share the details and so I say this next part with a cautionary note: If you cannot let go and move on and strongly feel the need to tell this person about your feelings and thoughts on the situation... try your best to remove as much anger and 'things of a personal nature' out of your approach to do so. I would simply state your position with a question asking for an explanation to allow you to come to an understanding of why he allows, condones or promotes the things you describe.

Regardless of whether or not you get a response at all and if it is or is not to your satisfaction... you need to be at peace with the decision you have already made. I feel you will look back on this not so far from now with a smile and feel like a heavy weight has been lifted as you move onto another dojo, meet others and continue on your path.

You cannot change anyone else but yourself. The hardest part can be getting out of your own way.

I hope this helps. Best wishes on your continued journey.
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