You are doing the right thing, so stop being so hard on yourself.
Just a thought, if you plan to do some of your own training during that time, bokken, jo, rolls, walking through techniques,, so you get some practice in. Put up a sign - Will to instruct -students welcome!
That way at least you get to practice....
I have been told Tohei used to say....and I am paraphrasing..... "I am just hear watering the flowers, if someone wants to slip their cup in and get a drink they are welcome to"