He was thinking about how it looked.... not feeling it....I tapped him on his shoulder and said "Helloo, in there....wake up," and he did...there was expression on his face and he moved differently.
This makes me think of the "four styles of learning" that they taught us about during the coaching training when I was a ski instructor. Rendered simplistically, it's thinker, doer, watcher, feeler. The problem with models like that is that people have so much fun labeling themselves (and others) that they give the label a lot of power...it becomes prescriptive rather than descriptive, I guess? Anyway, our instructor in this training emphasized that the most successful learners are those who incorporate all four learning strategies. So, the guy in Mary's story is maybe a watcher, maybe a thinker, and to learn better, he needs to use the "feeler" and "doer" strategies as well.