If we are made in the Image of the Creator, then we cannot be fully realized until we become Creators. A paradise not of our own making leaves no room for our own creation. It's necessary that we become dissatisfied, to a degree, so we can see how we might do it differently -- even assuming the hubris that we can do it better. This requires knowledge of good and evil. As with aikido, we continually awaken to things that can harm us and all that we love, and so we recreate ourselves and the world to engender more good, less evil.
Disclaimer: I'm not a theologian, nor even a believer, but I do find the language and the stories useful for exploring certain truths.
As for affecting the self or the other, I find that in moments of oneness, it becomes possible for me to operate in a way that allows the unified system of self and other to become more self-directed, more self-correcting. In this case, "self" means "system self" rather than (just) "me self."
The more I think about controlling my partner the more often I lose it; the more I think about only controlling myself, I also lose it. Only by joining self and other do I regain my self control.