Re: Rape Survivor and Aikido
I don't know why exactly, but I'm also uncomfortable with close physical contact with people outside of my own family. I guess it's partly cultural. Hugging people outside one's own family is not very common in my country, especially for men.
For me koshinage is ok, but the iriminage version where you put your partner's head against you shoulder (like holding a baby to your shoulder) feels uncomfortable.
What helped me with this technique, is that my teacher specifically said to us all that it may be somewhat uncomfortable for some to be so much in close contact with our partner. So the fact that he acknowledged my issue helped me. He doesn't know that I'm uncomfortable with it, he just knows that some people are. Anyway, gradually I'm feeling less uncomfortable when we do this. But my uncomfortableness is probably a lot less than yours, so I don't know if this would actually work for you.
I think it's quite understandable that you don't want to tell your teacher the reason for your touch aversion, and I don't think it's really neccessary. But you might tell him that you are uncomfortable with it, whatever the reason.
Oops, I'm basically repeating what Cady Goldfield said in post #6