Rape Survivor and Aikido
I am a rape survivor. I was raped when I was 17, and I have had many years of learning what to do to prevent it again. I do not talk to men I don't know and I do not go on blind dates. I have also developed an extreme aversion to being touched in any context other than by someone I am in a relationship with.
I have been studying Aikido for 2 years now, and it was recently pointed out to me that most of my waza issues stem from giving too much of a "holiday" to my uke. Upon further self-reflection, I feel that these technical problems are rooted in my aversion to touching people and being touched in any kind of non-sexual context. (I also do not hug friends, and I genuinely do my best to avoid even a handshake as a greeting.)
I am not looking for therapy, but I would be interested in knowing if there are any women here who have overcome the same issues, or any instructors who have helped their students though these issues.