John Bull wrote:
Once harmony has been restored (any pain involved was brought about by the aggressor) then I have nothing else to do.
Well, I'm a real 'loving protection' freak, so I see these things a little differently. I do think that it is not 'harmony' to blame the agressor for whatever pain they experience as a result of our interaction. It is not harmony because I am creating a separation between things that are 'my fault' and things that are not 'my fault.'
The key to my understanding of these issues is to leave aside the idea of what the 'ideal' aikidoka would do, or what 'aikido says you should do.' Instead, I do better when I focus on my own abilities and my own limitations. I strive to learn, through AiKiDo, how do defuse situations before they arise, de-escalate them when they do arise, and be with them in the moment as they unfold.
I feel that part of learning how to do this is a process of learning to see and understand things compassionately from points of view that I used to perceive as strange or weird or wrong. I have learned that the more succesfully I expand my perspective and my compassion, the more effective my AiKiDo. Sometimes, I fail to feel for the 'other' and I want to 'do something to them' (like preventing them from hurting me or throwing them to the ground). In these situations, I sometimes succeed in accomplishing my momentary goal, but I always know that I have seen a limitation in my AiKiDo. Of course, that's not bad. Seeing my limitations points out how I want to train. I lost track of the harmony, it was usually because I felt threatened. This gives me the opportunity to understand what sort of things threaten me and to motivate me to look for a place from which I can face them honestly and without fear.