Thread: Cold Sensei
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Old 05-09-2013, 12:00 PM   #17
heathererandolph
Dojo: Kokikai Aikido Boston
Location: Boston
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 120
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Re: Cold Sensei

I am getting the feeling that he isn't being entirely honest with you. He says you need to work on your self-esteem? What does that mean??? If his wife is jealous, he could tell you that. Maybe he's not telling you that because she is also a student. The truth is, there is a lot that we don't know about even close friends. Sometimes they say certain situations bring out the statement "so now I know who my friends truly are." Friendship can be situational, sometimes, and sometimes situations change.

Going back to the self-esteem comment, I would ask him what that means. As a Sensei, he may be making a valid observation but I think you need more information on that. I wouldn't be too surprised if he wife is jealous, I mean if her man has a "special friendship" with a woman that may bother her. Ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel?

You could try speaking to his wife, not on topic just try to get to know her a little better. Even though it's "nothing romantic" it's still time he may not be sharing with her, so perhaps this friendship was to the point where it isn't healthy for his marriage. It could be also that they are having problems, and this friendship is adding fuel to the fire. I'm sure what you're observing is correct, and his coldness shouldn't be taken as an active dislike. He obviously has great regard for you.

As far as being excluded from groups, that is worrisome. If you're being treated like an outcast that is truly unfortunate and wrong. Just try to hold on there, and usually in Aikido practice, things get better. There can always be things we just don't know. Be super respectful "yes Sensei, right away Sensei" and just be an exemplary student. Not cracking under pressure can be another thing that makes you great.

Last edited by heathererandolph : 05-09-2013 at 12:04 PM. Reason: Spelling
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