Thread: Cold Sensei
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:29 PM   #4
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
Location: New York
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,302
Re: Cold Sensei

Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Just looking for some advice or if anyone has experienced the same thing?
I've been practicing a number of years in a rather small close knit dojo. I developed a friendship with my Sensei off the mat. Nothing inappropriate in any way, and nothing that I think would affect our student/teacher relationship on the mat. One day, Sensei started treating me with a sort of cold distance. No conversation outside of Aikido or the weather. There was no explanation for this behavior. I don't know if I did anything to make Sensei angry. I assumed for a while that Sensei had decided to stay more distant from students in general, but that wasn't true. Sensei has one student that is a best friend. They hang out together off the mat. On the mat in the advanced class (not the basics class), they often practice only with each other for most of the class.
I love Aikido, and I enjoy the company of just about everyone in the dojo. But, it is getting hard to come to class to get treated as an outsider by someone I once counted as a good friend, especially when that person is my teacher and not just another student. Sensei still teaches me on the mat, and doesn't treat me unkindly exactly. It just feels like I am being pushed away.
As a student, have you ever had a sensei treat you this way?
As a teacher, have you ever felt the need to distance yourself from a student, and why?
The only answers that will be of any use to you will emerge from your direct, private conversation with your teacher. If our training is to help us learn how to better address and resolve interpersonal conflicts in our lives, then an opportunity awaits!

Good Luck!

Marc Abrams
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