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Old 05-05-2013, 08:21 AM   #36
heathererandolph
Dojo: Kokikai Aikido Boston
Location: Boston
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 118
United_States
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Thumbs up Re: No-one wants to practice with me

Dear no one,

Well, for one thing, as long as you have a partner or someone to practice with eventually, you're still able to practice Aikido, and therefore accomplish your goal. If you become a black belt, people will probably be more interested in practicing with you! I've seen this cliquish behavior, and it could be annoying. Sometimes I'd make eye contact with someone, then they'd head towards someone else and by that time I was left with lim pickings.

My advice is:

Target the person you want to work with. Rush over to them immediately after bowing.

Become a great person to practice with. Work on your attacks and your Ukemi. Everyone loves to work with a great uke.

After class, approach your previous partner to find if they have any suggestions on how to improve.

Remember to smile.

My reaction is, I would love it if my students rushed over to a new person excited to work with them, but that doesn't always happen. People need a reason to work with you, at least until they have done so.
Try not to take it personally, and to let this make you unhappy. Present a positive, upbeat attitude at all times. You love Aikido! Let it show.

I think you can turn this around. People like being flattered, if they know you're dying to work with them, specifically, that should help. People like being asked for advice. And I know everyone in Aikido loves a great uke.

Do you have an idea why they don't choose you? I am just wondering. You may have to go out of your way to show that is not an issue if you can think of anything specific.

And, let someone know, at some point, that you hope you can partner up with them soon.

Last edited by heathererandolph : 05-05-2013 at 08:23 AM. Reason: Add something
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