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Old 04-07-2013, 04:59 AM   #2
Kevin Leavitt
 
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Dojo: Aikido of Northern Virginia
Location: Stuttgart, Baden Wurttemberg
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 4,376
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Re: dominance hierarchies and crossing the line

I have been a drill instructor for the military for Officer Candidate School as well as other type of military type training. I was charged at OCS to revamp the program, to keep it hard, but eliminate the hazing and abuse that was part of the program. I can tell you that some get it and some don't. There is a difference between pushing people, having high standards, not lowering them, and simple downright abuse and hazing.

You can maintain standards and push people to do things they did not know they can. There will be failures, disappointments, and tears from time to time, but it does not have to involve name calling, doing dumb stuff that has no purpose other than abusing someone.

People come to coaches and instructors etc for leadership and to be challenged. They expect to be pushed. However, the don't need to be abused. I am sick and tired of the unhealthy co-dependent relationships that seem to develop in sports and dojos that alot of folks accept as acceptable adult behavior, but in other areas of their lives would be seen as a perversion and unhealthy.

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