Lax = not giving a shit. Re-lax = go back to not giving a shit.
I thought I was relaxed when people told me I wasn't. Didn't do me a lot of good either.
Like so many things in Aikido, perhaps we become relaxed by not creating tension and effort. Its not what we do, its the by-product of not-doing. So hard to learn.
IMHO, I always want to give a shit - apathy is not detachment. Its a choice in how I express my my giving a shit.
So many things only back sense when we look back after learning them.