Thanks Graham. Here's the part I'm having difficulty with:
If you've already accepted the situation is what it is, then why the need to correct it?
I'll use an example that I think highlights both our points:
Someone says something highly insulting to my wife and leaves her visibly upset. My response is "Dude, you're out of line. That's not acceptable behaviour. Now, let's move on.."
(I like to think that's how I handle the situation anyway)
So, the outcome is positive. I have been assertive (but not aggressive), got my point across and moved on. In this particular instance, the other person may not have been aware of the transmisson of their message, and it has become a learning opportunity for us both. This would not have been realised without my resistance. How is this unpolished?
Acceptance doesn't mean agree with. In acceptance there is neither agreement or disagreement. Thus you accept fully what is without 'mind interference'. You can thus plainly see the dudes behaviour is not good and enter with appropriate action. Entering without resistance, without drama or fear, with a healing sword rather than a hand grenade.
Recently I was coming back from the local shops in Archway and saw a bunch of 'louts' in the car park next to my friends pub setting fire to something right by a garage door. All gathered round thinking how funny it was and how clever they are. I calmly walked up to and through the melee and without even a word just stamped on the fire repeatedly and put it out. No words, no drama, just quiet affimative action . It was like the ripples in a pond as they who were circling me moved away unsure of what had just occured yet I know they got the message.
To me that's all part of Aikido.