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Old 03-10-2013, 05:22 PM   #9
graham christian
Dojo: golden center aikido-highgate
Location: london
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,697
Re: The home of spirit

Travers Hughes wrote: View Post
Hi there, Graham. Good to read you again. Quick question - think I'm missing something here, so can you please clarify?
What about self-assertion / conflict? eg. If I find myself in a situation unacceptable to me, and I resist the situation, is this being unpolished? I'd like to think that I was being self-aware in this situation, and looking out for my own/others welfare. (Of course, how I managed the conflict/conversation would be very telling in my attitude towards myself and others).

Look forward to your comments
Yes in my opinion it is indeed being 'unpolished' as you put it.

Here we come up with hitherto agreed with but uninspected ways of acting which we consider right or usual. Right or usual to me doesn't mean they are the best.

Let's take your example of situation unacceptable to you and also then your view of self assertion.

Now I have said before that acceptance is all part of, a principle of, being centred. Therefor finding anything unacceptable is an uncentred attitude to have. Unpolished. Only once we thus make that as a rule can we then discipline ourselves to review and learn new lessons.

As a result I can say to you that potentially you can accept anything. So with full acceptance you can then address the situation from a condition of acceptance, from a stable centred position and condition of being.

So yes you can non-resist it and accept it and in fact if you do it will be easier to make it better.

Then we come to assertive and assertiveness. Limited, in my view. Not optimum. For someone who is very withdrawn then it is a good exercise to practice. However of it'self it is lacking quite a lot as far as I am concerned. Bullies and liars for example can be very assertive as can those hiding behind a gun or some 'power' group or system etc. So just using that as a solution or seeing that as a blindly great thing is lacking something is it not? In other words assertiveness without sense is of no good use to anyone.

Seeing a scene is not optimum you can thus accept it, non-resist it and armed with that step in and take responsiblity for it's correction and act accordingly. Done with non-resistance and acceptance (from love) the results will be much more effective, better for all and thus much more powerful.

So just as with Aikido in it's potential you don't have to be against, to oppose in order to be moved to handle something. You do it because it is there to be done without opposition.

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