Earlier you wrote about being ready to accept homosexuals in society. I think this is a worthwhile effort. I think saying:
I guess I don't see it as my or anyone else's responsibility to change the minds of ignorant people.
does not move towards accomplishing that goal. I think Jonathan hit it dead-on, we should be educating our friends and arresting bigotry. Marginalizing does not solve the problem, it just isolates those who are marginalized.
Perhaps it's ignorant of me to say, but I don't see why everyone can't see this issue the way I do: as a non-issue.
Again, maybe start by working with your partner to empathize with your perspective. Empathy is a great start for understanding. Then maybe he will see the way you see this issue.
Michael hit on my other point. As leaders of our dojos, we have a duty to provide a safe environment for everyone that trains, regardless of sexual orientation. This is both a legal obligation as well as a social obligation. If that safety is preserved, we are granted a liberal dose of tolerance with which to work out individual (and personal) differences.
These are hard conversations, and the archives are full of them: women in the dojo, men refusing to train with women, women refusing to train with men, obesity, AIDS. I think it is important to sort out our responsibilities as a dojo and how our personal feelings relate to crafting our stances on these topics. As for the rest, I think we are leaving the discussion of this topic as it relates to aikido and entering a more generalized discussion. At this I will pass. Thanks for the conversation.