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Old 02-25-2013, 12:09 AM   #21
"beenthere"
IP Hash: 21866561
Anonymous User
Re: No-one wants to practice with me

I have been through this and seen it happen many times. i think reasons can range from misunderstandings- being shy I know that sometimes I look so uncertain and withdrawn people figure I want to be left alone - to yes, really, no one or at least some people don't want to train with you, and they tell you so loudly. from my experience, the best thing to do is make sure as much as you can you are communicating a desire to train and be friendly, try to avoid people on the mat who seriously won't train with you, and try to focus people who do respond to you, even a little. if there isn't anyone glad to train with you today, there might be tomorrow. find someone even newer than you and reach out to them. or just wait. It will change. those guys might even get wise.

That said, better to quit aikido than to struggle unsuccessfully with real bullying, which this behavior can be if its part of the dojo character. Its unusual for it to get that bad, but I have seen it. if you already have social anxiety, you really don't need that. But usually this is just thoughtlessness or too narrow and possibly egotistical a perspective on the part of some students (often brown belts). that you can work with, it really isn't about you.
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