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Old 02-24-2013, 03:27 PM   #14
mathewjgano's Avatar
Dojo: Tsubaki Kannagara Jinja Aikidojo; Himeji Shodokan Dojo
Location: Renton
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,225
Re: No-one wants to practice with me

For what it's worth (and taking into consideration that I know almost nothing of the situation), I agree with the idea of viewing this as a part of your personal training. I've also dealt with social anxiety and in my own case, I've tended to shrink away from situations where I didn't feel completely welcome. It kept me from doing my best in many cases and formed a habit of retreating in the face of discomfort; which can be a bad habit to get into. In line with Ellis's point on dignity, it has been my experience that dignity (e.g. how I engage my own sense of personal worth) has been a big factor in my being able to not care what others think about me. I remind myself that I mean for only the best and that because of this, the people around me would be fortunate to have me around them...even if they don't know it yet. In my own case at least, this reminds me of what for me is at the heart of my sense of dignity and it creates a kind of mental space allowing me to focus on something else for a while, like figuring out ikkyo or what makes "Billy Bob" laugh or what have you.
I have to deal with it less today than in the past, but I still deal with it from time to time: it's part of my shugyo; my path of self-victory.
Breathe; relax; and try try again. Others' views of you are never so important as your own; enjoy yourself.
...That's how I try to approach it, at least. Good luck!
Take care,

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