ouch, that's rather one sided.
I suppose the reason people think Aikido is ineffective is that, in the dojo, everyone is in total cooperation. While usually not taking a fall for their nage, they do relax and blend into it. Why? Firstly, it lets them 'feel' the technique. I learn almost as much from being uke as I do from being nage. Also, resisting an Aikido technique (such as iriminage or sankyo) is a good way to hurt yourself.
I see my sensei go at it in the dojo, and I have no doubt they could do the same if they had to fight.
About BJJ- Never seen it, so I can't say. However, if someone is more skilled than you, there's two pretty good ways to get out of it.
1. Talk your way out of it.