Thnk you Michael and Matt - I think we are the same page. I jotted this down earlier today so it's a bit redundant. There are two sides that I am addressing. The first is knowing your part in the interaction. If you are acting aggressive and you are presented with a physical correction you have learned a lesson. For someone to act out physically toward you, you have crossed a boundary real or imagined. You can choose to not see staring someone down as aggressive but you are wrong.
Emphasis mine. Don't these contradict one another? If the boundary that you've crossed is "imagined", then are you still "wrong" about your actions not being aggressive?