I agree with what you have written here except your definition of violence. You seem to be saying that violence requires a lack of control, or thought, to be violence, and I do not think that is true. I see a lot of calmly premeditated, controlled damage inflicted upon others that anyone would call violence having seen it. Who is more violent, a person who plans, carefully arranges, and methodically executes a mall shootup, or someone who comes home to find the missus in the sack with the neighbor, loses his temper and proceedes to uncontrollably knock the snot out of all involved? I dont know. I think they might both be considered violent.
Claiming the moral high ground in a fight because you are calm is questionable. Assigning blame to the attacker if I use my skills to injure someone in a fight is perhaps understandable, but ultimately not reasonable. I am held liable for my actions in any and all situations, and my mental and emotional state have little bearing on my liability. Sometimes I can say that I was honestly afraid, and had little idea of what my atttacker had on hand and what their intent was. Even that doesn't get me far, sometimes.
For me, studying a martial art is about uncovering, working with, and learning to control my capacity for violence. I am not going to pretend that my participation in the art of love and harmony has actually made me less violent. I am more aware of the potential I have for violence. Which is good because like we are both saying, violence is better controlled. I'm just admitting I have the capacity for it, and you seem to be hiding your capacity under a label of a "non-violent" martial art.
I can see your point here but i would like to clarify something.I don't claim that martial skills and technique cover for ill morals if you use them just to hurt somebody methodically.The ethical part i think is covered since an aikidoka is not supposed to attack somebody or go straight into a fight if he can avoid it.But if it comes down to self deffence then the violent person is the one who attacked the aikidoka in order to harm him.If the aikidoka has high skills in his Art,he can use the attacker's force against him,limiting the damage as much as possible.Even if the attacker is harmed during that confrontation it will be because of his own power used against him and of his own initiative to attack in the first place.Thus,high skilled technique,relaxed,centered body and calm,peacefull mind inside make for non-violent,yet extremely effective martial artist...