Yannis, agree with your definitions for the most part. Only thing that I would differ on might be how you use the word choice. I think we try to expand our skills to give us the ability to make choices, or the ability to make more informed choices. however, I have been humbled by every violent encounter I have ever been involved in and while I may have had some ability/degree to make choices. I was never as skillful as I would have liked to have been or had much real choice in the destruction that ensued. I do try and minimalize it to the lowest degree necessary.
I am only saying that the enemy gets a vote and he typically has a bigger vote in the equation than we'd like him to, otherwise it would not be violent at all. So the mere presence of violence denotes to me that I do not have control or the ability to make choices all that effective.
I just think the whole notion of choice can be very slippery. that is all.
Kevin i agree totally with you,most of the times the situation is setting the bar of what happens and in real fighting situation there is always a number of x factors that is limiting our choices and puts a frame around our actions.
Trying to minimalize the destruction if possible and getting as much control as the situation and one's skills alow is,in my opinion,the right thing to do.So we are agreed!