Hey! I resemble that round-eyed remark....
marc, you can become asian too through adoption. i can adopt you as my brother-in-arm. you would have to answer some tough questions, since we asian have high standard.
have you ever party for more than 24 hrs?
have you knowledge in carousing?
have you spent time with strange men and touching them in strange way while wearing a skirt?
have you look at your big gut and said "my hara is looking good" and ask your significant other to feel it?
have you gone commando or at least zebra thong under your hakama?
have you large stock of ibuprofen, icyhot and similar ointments?
have you consider steak as part of vegetarian diet?
have you weep over kimchi (at least because of it)?