Well, if somebody puts out cigarettes on my arm, then I'm abused, whether I feel that way or not. I suppose that I could be OK with not "feeling" abused, and I suppose that it's OK if somebody wants to go that way - but I don't think for a moment that's what Ueshiba was pointing towards.
I don't agree. Let's look at some extreme examples.
If everything always goes my way, I'm young, strong, rich, admired, I have every kind of "power" one could wish for (except, acceptance). Any slight to me would feel like an abuse. If someone flipped me off in traffic, I would feel like the whole world was upturned, and poor me.
The other end of this, is the kid who has no arms, no legs, and yet is happy as he can be to be alive. Even though he should be totally pissed that something took his arms and legs, he's happy, smiling and helping others deal with things like a "bad hair day".
It's not about getting what you want, it's about wanting what you got- some cheesy song lyric, but it fits. I think this is what the Buddha was getting at, the ability to accept life as it comes, joyfully. You don't need any "power" if you can do that. I think Ueshiba realized this. But even if he didn't it's still the path I'm trying to work towards.