So Janet, what exactly did you learn with 90% of success? After all these long years of training, can you face with confidence stronger, violent, full of hate, possible with weapon, attacker on the street?
I respectfully disagree with your position on this. A thorough review in the area of Psychology of Learning might open your mind to some other possibilities. If I am trying to "rewire" the person to respond appropriately to stimuli, I seek to keep the person on the border of success and failure with a gross majority of the time, burning in successful movements. That means that the uke really shoulders a lot of responsibility in the role of the teacher. Asking somebody to "muscle through" something simply interferes with proper, effective movements in our art.
The larger issue at hand,is to address the purpose and goals of the uke. If it is not clearly designed to help the nage improve, then the uke is simply acting like the rear-end of a mule.