Re: Problem student!!
Well, I don't know, but if this guy really has practiced for a good while somewhere else, maybe he's actually doing things he was previously taught were desirable and practicing in a way that took him a long time to learn to do? Or simply that completely different things were seen as more fundamental in his dojo and more important to learn first, so the things he's spent his time focusing on are not what you guys consider 'the most important basics' (and likewise he may look at you guys and wonder why so many people seem lacking in what he was taught were 'basics'). It's possible that the 'good' people in your dojo would even have been corrected in his last dojo, who knows. So maybe frustrating and confusing to come somewhere else and find that people practice so differently. Of course if he's going to train at your dojo he'll need to adapt, but it makes some of the confusion and frustration understandable, especially if he perceives you guys as insulting things he's actually proud of and feels he's worked hard to achieve.
Can you try to emphasize less that he's doing it 'wrong' and more that in your style it's done differently? Sympathize with him about how hard it can be to pick up a new style? Compliment him on any areas where he's strong?
It just seems that right now everything is becoming a battle which may make any kind of compromise on his side feel like 'giving in' or losing.
Though his comment about it not being a problem if Sensei doesn't say it is is actually pretty reasonable. DOES Sensei see it as a problem and want him to learn to practice differently? If so, he may not believe that unless he actually hears if from Sensei. If you guys are all saying something's a problem but Sensei seems (at least as far as this guy can tell) to be content, it's not surprising he might think you guys are overstepping your bounds telling him what to do.
Last edited by Basia Halliop : 10-10-2012 at 01:31 PM.