Re: abusive sensei
This may not be the reply your looking for, but:
I don't necessarily see anything bad in a teacher like that. It certainly isn't for everyone, but there are indeed people who thrive and do their best under such circumstances. If you greatly dislike it, perhaps it's more the wrong place for you to be (nothing wrong with that), than that there is something wrong with that teacher?
You see this in other Martial Arts all the time, and such teachers would merely be called "tough" or "strict", not "abusive". In fact, it seems to remind me of stories I've heard of the old Yoshinkan days, say around the 60's or 70's, of how training was done. I've read about how Gozo would sometimes knock out his partners during demonstrations, yet again, no one calls that abuse.
And not to mention O Sensei... reading back to his early days, he certainly wasn't a "nice" teacher in any way. In fact, many of the training methods would probably be illegal today, or labelling him insane (training with live swords during night time?).
That said, it certainly sounds like that teaching style isn't for you, so why not try and find another dojo you can train at instead? Or is that not a possibility?