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Old 09-17-2012, 02:43 PM   #53
Tom Verhoeven
Dojo: Aikido Auvergne Kumano dojo
Location: Auvergne
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 295
Re: Even at Boot one can reach inside you and make you feel. Your feelings

Phi Truong wrote: View Post
thought i would respond to this. short answer: yes, i did and do and will continue until they are 18 years of age, out of my house, and gone to college.

my grandfather to my father: you don't want to go to college? fine. the army will draft you. i will prepare a plot for your grave. (this is during the vietnam war)
my father: i believed the medical college will accept my application. (dad became a doctor)

father to me (took me to hospital where they treated drug addicts and long time smokers): see those people with only skin on bones that looked like corpses? druggies! see those people with tubes ran out of their body to drain their lung fluids? smokers!
me: haven't touched or went near drug or ciggarettes eversince. i still remembered the images after all these years.

manipulation and control are just tools. by themselves have no evil or good. it's the people who wield it that determines its association. same goes with power.
If you reread the thread then you will see that there was no mention of parenthood until you did.
As far as I know the OP talked about Aikido. So did I (although I was also thinking about the way people control and manipulate nature - a professional habbit, I am alweays thinking about nature).

I could have told you a similar story about my father.
But I do not understand why you would call that control or manipulation - it is a confrontation with reality, harsh maybe, but nevertheless a good lesson. The purpose of it is to teach. Not to tighten the reigns. So where is the control? Or the manipulation?

I remember a children's class in the Aikido dojo where a parent hit the child on the head because the child forgot to bow at the entrance of the dojo. On another occasion a child was yelled at because he could not tie his obi. One parent went as far as to call his child names like stupid and idiot. All examples of parents using control and manipulation the make the child do something that see as important.

Considering this, is it really that strange that I define control and manipulation as a form of aggression?

But perhaps Covey is right after all and do we indeed react from our "autobiographical" experiences.

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