I am talking about this in the context of Aikido training.
Don't you train to try to manipulate or controll uke pschologically?
Don't you train to try to manipulate or control tori psychologically?
Sure, what nage feels is nages feeling. And at first glance he alone is responsible for what he feels. But when there is someone who is competent in affecting the feelings of another persons this becomes really difficult.
The teachings about metsuke deal with this. On both sides: Where to look to not give the oppenent the possibility to affect one's feelings. Or how to look to affect the feelings of the opponent. (When you see Christian Tissier performing aikidō watch his face. He is such a kind person. Smiling all the time, very humble, nice, soft, and during seminars he cares about everyone on the tatami ... When he performs, his face is like made of stone. His eyes are as if they would cut you ... This he does on purpose.)
There are movements to affect the opponent. Watanabe sensei does this as far as I understand it. I myself experienced this with Ikeda Hiroshi sensei.
Same with bootcamps: In the German army I experienced only a very little brother of what a befriended marine told me about what he survived during his drill. But even this was designed to affect our feelings, our personality, our "inside". When I talked to my company commander later it was their intention to break the personality we brought to the army and to build up real soldier from the pieces. Those where his words.
Having not one private second over a long time. Having only very short periods of sleep for a long time. Persons who only shout when they talk to you. ... Sure, your feelings are in you ...