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Old 10-13-2002, 08:57 PM   #12
Deb Fisher
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 145
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Lame problem!

1. I have to agree with Giancarlo - you can't get anywhere thinking that *he's the one* who has to change, your own record states that. It never works to change other people, especially people who are okay with sending people to the hospital.

2. Don't necessarily agree with Giancarlo's notion that the mat is the right place to solve this. Training with someone you have a bit of a beef with, weird energy with, etc, can charge your training with a certain intensity that is good, desirable, martial. Sounds like attempting to handle this guy "on his level" could easily create an intensity that would wind up getting you driven to the hospital, though. I guess I would make a judgement call and ask myself not only how my skills measure up, or whether or not I could handle it, but also whether or not I want to use my training time to willingly engage in an encounter that's so obviously threatening... I mean, there's a difference between handling an attacker and asking someone to attack you.

3. I don't, however, see anything wrong with absolutely refusing to train with him, in the most obvious way possible. What if everybody politely refused to train with him? That seems like the safest, easiest, most direct way to meet your twin goals of keeping the dojo and not training with this guy. Perhaps your sensei would see that this guy is disrupting the entire class, affecting everybody. Perhaps this guy would see that the way of the warrior must also be the way of the healer... or else soon you've got no one to play with. But even if *they* don't see the light, you are safe and training.

Good luck to you,

Deb

Last edited by Deb Fisher : 10-13-2002 at 09:00 PM.

Deb Fisher
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