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Old 10-13-2002, 06:37 PM   #11
G DiPierro
Location: Ohio
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 365
You have got yourself a real Aikido situation on your hands here! You have someone who is controlling you and others in your dojo by the use of force. Aikido, like all budo, is primarily the study of this kind of interaction. As Aikido students, this situation is a real-life test of your Aikido skill, and from what you have said, many of your advanced students have not been able to handle it successfully.

My advice to you, difficult as it may sound, is to stop blaming your problems on this person and look at what you can change in your own behavior. You can go around thinking that the only person that needs to change is this other person as much as you want, but don't expect your results to be any different. The reality is that the only person whose behavior you can change is you.

If you think this person is being too rough, then practice with him (or her) and teach him a lesson yourself. If you can't do this, then work on building your own skills until you can. If you don't know how to do this, then you might want to start by studying this person's style and copying it. That would be one way of taking an active, positive step towards solving your problem.

Aikido is first and foremost a martial art, and before you can reach the advanced techniques of conflict resolution you must first gain competancy wtih the basic ones. Your most basic strategy is always to fight back. This is what you were thinking of in your first option, but you need to give some thought to how to do this effectively. If you don't want to fight, you can just suck it up and deal with it. That's your second option. Or you can choose options three or four and let this person have control over this important part of your life. You have to decide what your priorities are in this case and whether you are willing to fight for what you want.

Last edited by G DiPierro : 10-13-2002 at 06:42 PM.
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