Imposing one's will ...
If we look to Ueshiba, he said something along the lines that if one becomes the Universe, how can anyone fight that? And then we look at Ueshiba stating "Aiki is a means of achieving harmony with another person so that you can make them do what you want."
But, if we look to the latter statement, it's from Takeshita. Could Ueshiba have been restating Takeda's views on aiki? It could have been from a time frame when Takeda was a large influence on Ueshiba. And yet, Takeda, Ueshiba, etc viewed their art as defensive, so even if you look at that statement, it doesn't fit with aggressive attacking. Now, martially, it's hard to view the example of the orange in this. For example, when the swordsman attacked Ueshiba, to him, the orange meant actually hitting Ueshiba. For Ueshiba, the orange actually meant not getting hit. There can be no sharing the orange. And martially, if one is uke attacking someone with aiki, you are not getting the orange just like the swordsman also did not hit Ueshiba. The orange was fully Ueshiba's and uke did what Ueshiba wanted.
But, if we look at this spiritually, we see that Ueshiba was the Universe so that uke came to a mental/spiritual change. Uke became the Universe and as such came to understand that it was not the orange that was important after all. In aiki, this is manifest in the physical by uke being handled as if he/she was a rag doll/child. When uke can do nothing to upset nage/aiki, there is a mental change from an overwhelming sense of being outclassed, outmatched, and an unfathomable mystery on what is happening. (Normal martial arts do not create this) In this manner, the orange no longer becomes an issue at all. So, I think this is where Mary's example goes further than each person finding that they wanted different parts of the orange. I think it transcends that such that each person finds a greater truth than the orange between them.
Martially, it works only one way. An attacker wants to hurt you. You do not want to be hurt. There can be no splitting nor sharing of the orange. It must remain intact and unharmed.
Spiritually, though, aiki transcends the orange. The situation of sharing or even splitting is never created. It does not exist. One cannot fight the Universe but only accept becoming part of it.
If we overlay all that upon Aikiweb, we find that aiki is big enough to encompass those who train for just health, for just spirituality, for just martial, and for all the above. People from all walks of life have proven this and the situation where the orange must be shared or split was never created. As Ueshiba stated, aiki makes things better. There is no spoon, er orange.