Is that also the essence of what Mary followed with in her take on uke/nage? Not really. The essence as I read that paragraph is that training is best when uke and nage share the same traits (intent, commitment). This is different from the Crum story in which two parties' traits (goals, desires) are different but woukd have been solved by clear communication.
Hmmm, I didn't read it this way. I was thinking of uke being fully intent and committed to the role and goals of uke, and nage being fully intent and committed to the role and goals of nage, but of those roles and goals being different. Which resulted in each focusing on a different aspect of their training but in such a way that their goals, though different, helped the other concentrate on their own goals. Though in hindsight maybe that's because I was having a couple of conversations very similar to that recently and it was in my head because someone was teaching about something kind of similar (without any orange involved)
E.g. I was thinking of uke practicing things like how to attack, feeling clearly what nage is doing, how to keep oneself safer when at a disadvantage, perhaps how to set up a counter or at least how to be in good positions for a counter, and nage practicing how to react to attacks, and so on... Or to be more general, each practicing different aspects of feeling and blending appropriately with the other's energy and movements.
Or however you see the roles of uke and nage, but considering how differing practice goals can in fact be complementary to each other and allow both to gain more from the practice.