Basia Halliop

Keith said "I think the basic misunderstanding here is that in a conflict one is trying to impose their will from the start."

I think sometimes that's true, yes. But there are so many kinds of conflicts. Some kinds just need 'a' resolution, i.e., there may be many different ways of resolving that particular conflict, and some solutions may not be what you originally thought was necessary, or they may not require you to unilaterally decide what the solution needs to be and then make that solution happen.

E.g., sometimes (e.g. when someone is going to get hurt or sometimes when one is dealing with children or dogs) it's appropriate and necessary for one person to 'take charge' and make what needs to happen, happen (whether by force, guidance, persuasion, etc).

Other times it's far more appropriate and helpful to extend some respect to your opponent and for both people in a conflict to reach a mutual solution together.